Off The Road Again

Of the universally-despised blights of society, road construction probably doesn't rank as high as pedophilia, gang warfare, or Richard Simmons.  Nevertheless, the godless heathens that control our streets here in the fine city of Phoenix (medieval latin, meaning 'really big city in the middle of the goddam desert') have earned my unending hatred.

On any given day of the week, or several days if they're feeling particularly malicious, they will shut down several miles of one (or more) of our major freeways for "construction".  By "construction", I mean "placing 3 men, 2 trucks, 1 cop, and several billion barricades in an area the approximately the size of Rhode Island and drinking lots of coffee while examining anything but the road they're standing on".  Frequently, the condition of the road in question is considerably cleaner and more pristine than a computer chip fabrication plant.  I'm reasonably certain that the Phoenix Department of Public Works is receiving kickbacks from the coffee industry.

The result of this "construction" is that all five-hundred thousand motorists traveling that particular direction at that time must immediately exit and either;
    A) add to the already ridiculous congestion of the closest major cross-streets,
    B) race about like frenzied cockroaches, seeking any street within a ten mile radius that will take them remotely close to their destination,  
    C) retrieve a loaded handgun from under the seat and start shooting fellow motorists, or
    D) all of the above.

Added bonus: in Arizona, we pay absolutely exorbitant vehicle registration fees.  Their pricing structure is based on some obscure formula that no one truly understands, but appears to be approximately one dollar per pound of gross vehicle weight per year times total vehicle cost divided by the earned run average of the Arizona Diamondback's pitching staff.

For the kind of money they're making on us, they ought to be able to field a hybrid team of construction workers/U.S. Army Green Berets who could be airdropped onto the road in question and have any problem dealt with inside of one hour and retracted again - all between 3 and 4 in the morning on a Sunday.  For whatever reason, they haven't even considered a solution such as this.  Maybe because Green Berets don't drink coffee.