The Email Who Cried Wolf
Monday, February 13th, 2006Years of exposure to the Internet has made me a four-star, raging pessimist. Not in a general sense, really, it's just that anytime I see anything remarkable, stupendous, amazing, or miraculous in my email, I immediately look around to see who's pulling my leg.
If you've spent any time on the internet, and have email, then you've seen the "Bill Gates will give you money if you forward this email!" scam. People, please, for the billionth time, the ONLY thing you're going to get if you forward that email is my boot in your ass.
The list doesn't stop there, of course. "Hypodermic needles in the McDonald's Playland area", "Dr. Pepper and/or Pepsi removed the "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance", "Register your cellphone with the Do Not Call List", and countless thousands of others.
All Grade A, certifiable, 100% bullshit. Made up by some crazy a-hole with too much time on his hands and no respect for his fellow man. There are even sick puppies who will circulate bullshit missing child emails - always lacking actual details of what city she disappeared from, but always including a heartbreaking picture of some adorable child who is now 35 years old, married, with 4 kids.
I've grown so suspicious and jaded that when the Christmas Lights House vid started circulating before Christmas, I was convinced it was a fake - someone had Photoshopped and video-edited it all together. Same thing with the one-eyed kitten.
It's pretty much gotten to the point where I don't believe anything on my computer. I've become suspicious of my own emails. I've become suspicious of the things written here on JAB.
Who, exactly, is writing this stuff? I'll bet it's George Carlin. Yup. And NASA.
(This message brought to you by the Conspiracy Theorists of America. But don't tell anyone.)
If you've spent any time on the internet, and have email, then you've seen the "Bill Gates will give you money if you forward this email!" scam. People, please, for the billionth time, the ONLY thing you're going to get if you forward that email is my boot in your ass.
The list doesn't stop there, of course. "Hypodermic needles in the McDonald's Playland area", "Dr. Pepper and/or Pepsi removed the "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance", "Register your cellphone with the Do Not Call List", and countless thousands of others.
All Grade A, certifiable, 100% bullshit. Made up by some crazy a-hole with too much time on his hands and no respect for his fellow man. There are even sick puppies who will circulate bullshit missing child emails - always lacking actual details of what city she disappeared from, but always including a heartbreaking picture of some adorable child who is now 35 years old, married, with 4 kids.I've grown so suspicious and jaded that when the Christmas Lights House vid started circulating before Christmas, I was convinced it was a fake - someone had Photoshopped and video-edited it all together. Same thing with the one-eyed kitten.
It's pretty much gotten to the point where I don't believe anything on my computer. I've become suspicious of my own emails. I've become suspicious of the things written here on JAB.
Who, exactly, is writing this stuff? I'll bet it's George Carlin. Yup. And NASA.
(This message brought to you by the Conspiracy Theorists of America. But don't tell anyone.)
tags:
Comments:
Post a comment: