Cute Baby 2.0
Thursday, January 26th, 2006Being a thirty-something, divorced father-of-none, I'm deprived of one of the staples of blogging. Namely, the cute baby/kid anecdotes that child-bearing bloggers employ. I suppose it would be kinda lame if I tried to cash in on the whole cute baby thing by writing about the trials and tribulations of my Lady Friend's young-uns (or urchins as she refers to them).
But, um, I could tell you about...uh...this Cute Baby emulation software that I borrowed from my Lady Friend. Yes, of course. Cute Baby 2.0, with free downloads - known as "potch" - several times daily! This particular install of Cute Baby was already a work in progress when I became acquainted with...um..."her". She pretty much looked like a little Michelin Man. The only remotely meaningful vocalization was "Bop!", which appears to have several definitions, like "hello", "i want a bottle", or even "bop". There was no bipedal locomotion happening either. There were two speeds: "crawl", and "stop".
As I've become more familiar with the whole baby thing - um, you know, baby-emulation - I've discovered that she's quite an endearing little shit. And for reasons unknown, she has been nicknamed "Poodle" by the earlier release - Cute Baby 1.0, a.k.a. "Po". Poodle will - get this - shrug on command. At roughly 18 months, the vocabulary has improved, and now includes such staples as "jet" and "charter". I think she wants to fly to the French Riviera.
Yesterday, the phone rang. At the sound, she ran into the kitchen and shouted "hello!" at the telephone. I think I might try that approach. It'd be a helluva lot easier than stumbling through the house, crutches flying in every direction, only to get there just as they hang up.
But, um, I could tell you about...uh...this Cute Baby emulation software that I borrowed from my Lady Friend. Yes, of course. Cute Baby 2.0, with free downloads - known as "potch" - several times daily! This particular install of Cute Baby was already a work in progress when I became acquainted with...um..."her". She pretty much looked like a little Michelin Man. The only remotely meaningful vocalization was "Bop!", which appears to have several definitions, like "hello", "i want a bottle", or even "bop". There was no bipedal locomotion happening either. There were two speeds: "crawl", and "stop".
As I've become more familiar with the whole baby thing - um, you know, baby-emulation - I've discovered that she's quite an endearing little shit. And for reasons unknown, she has been nicknamed "Poodle" by the earlier release - Cute Baby 1.0, a.k.a. "Po". Poodle will - get this - shrug on command. At roughly 18 months, the vocabulary has improved, and now includes such staples as "jet" and "charter". I think she wants to fly to the French Riviera.
Yesterday, the phone rang. At the sound, she ran into the kitchen and shouted "hello!" at the telephone. I think I might try that approach. It'd be a helluva lot easier than stumbling through the house, crutches flying in every direction, only to get there just as they hang up.
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