Pain Is All In Your Mind
Sunday, January 8th, 2006A couple weeks ago, I prattled on about how I broke my foot, as well as the fact that I walked around on it for two days before seeing a doctor because, to be honest, it didn't hurt that bad. Even after the diagnosis and obligatory splint, I didn't bother filling my scrip for Vicodin, as Tylenol seemed to do just fine. Friends and coworkers have joked that I must have a high tolerance for pain (and expressed interest in purchasing my unused Vicodin - but not so jokingly). I was beginning to think that my pain tolerance might be on the high side, until I had the surgery to install the plate and screws last week.
In a word, ouch.
The surgery itself was fine - most likely because they gave me enough anesthesia for a herd of elephants. I was out cold. Even the five hour stint in recovery was ok - due to the lingering affects of their industrial strength fun juice, no doubt. They gave me 3 different pain meds - this one is your overall med, this one is for instant pain relief, this one is for... Ya, ya, ok, I got it. But about ten o'clock that evening, the fun juice started to wear off, and I got my first sip of pain. Oh! Hey! This is new...what tha...?
HEY!
Within 30 seconds, I'd popped open two of the three bottles and was shoveling pills in my mouth like I was stoking a coal furnace. They seemed to alleviate the pain, much in the same way a sponge will stop the flooding from a hurricane.
At this point, I was convinced that they had not installed the plate in my leg. No sir, no way, no how. The only reasonable explanation for the sensations I was experiencing was that they'd taken my foot off at the ankle with a rusty steak knife, and replaced it with an ill-tempered badger.
You can bet the doctor and I are going to have words over this, because I really didn't want this mad weasel attached to my leg. Then I'm gonna go buy back my damned Vicodin.
In a word, ouch.
The surgery itself was fine - most likely because they gave me enough anesthesia for a herd of elephants. I was out cold. Even the five hour stint in recovery was ok - due to the lingering affects of their industrial strength fun juice, no doubt. They gave me 3 different pain meds - this one is your overall med, this one is for instant pain relief, this one is for... Ya, ya, ok, I got it. But about ten o'clock that evening, the fun juice started to wear off, and I got my first sip of pain. Oh! Hey! This is new...what tha...?
HEY!
Within 30 seconds, I'd popped open two of the three bottles and was shoveling pills in my mouth like I was stoking a coal furnace. They seemed to alleviate the pain, much in the same way a sponge will stop the flooding from a hurricane.
At this point, I was convinced that they had not installed the plate in my leg. No sir, no way, no how. The only reasonable explanation for the sensations I was experiencing was that they'd taken my foot off at the ankle with a rusty steak knife, and replaced it with an ill-tempered badger.
You can bet the doctor and I are going to have words over this, because I really didn't want this mad weasel attached to my leg. Then I'm gonna go buy back my damned Vicodin.
~ ~ ~
Addendum: A new thing this morning! This business has got my sleep cycle all jacked up. I'm pretty much grabbing sleep whenever I can - a half-hour here, and hour there. Now, you know how sometimes when you're just drifting off and you twitch and wake yourself up? Take that barrel of fun, but put the twitch in your busted-up right foot. I guarantee, you'll re-discover religion.tags:
Comments:
I can relate brother! Welcome to the exiting world of Vicodin. Just like tic-tacs but without the minty freshness, and they're bigger, and you don't want to chew them, and they make you feel a whole lot better.
Try this, take a handful of tic-tacs and give someone a kiss. Now take a handful of Vikes and let's see if you give a shit who you kiss.
I feel for ya man, hang in there.
Try this, take a handful of tic-tacs and give someone a kiss. Now take a handful of Vikes and let's see if you give a shit who you kiss.
I feel for ya man, hang in there.
posted by Boffo : : Monday, January 9th, 2006
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