Stewart Gorman - Restauranteur

Stewart T. Gorman, Jr. has supplied JAB.com with more of his correspondence.  We can only shake our heads in disbelief.

Date: Tue, 6 Apr 2004 19:57:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Stewart Gorman"
To: [City of Fort Wayne]
Subject: Food Chain Licensing

Dear City Clerk's office,

I wish to establish my "Wild Walrus" food service franchise in the fine city of Fort Wayne. We will serve the finest walrus-based food product anywhere. Our signature dish will be Grilled Walrus Tail. I have tried my recipe on many people, and most of them said it was a lot better than they thought it would be.

Wild Walrus will not operate restaurants, rather, we will employ a fleet of 1000 push carts, complete with propane grills, a condiment dispenser, and, of course, a cooler full of walrus meat. The carts will be equipped with orange and green umbrellas, and bear our soon-to-be famous "Wild Walrus" logo. Our Walrus vendors will wear gray jump suits, aprons, top hats, and will all sport large mustaches. No fake mustaches - I will insist that they are real!

We will deploy our fleet of carts throughout the city - in residential neighborhoods, industrial areas, your downtown, and especially around schools. I'm certain we will be more popular than the ice cream truck in no time!

Please respond with all appropriate registration forms and licensing information for me to start my Wild Walrus chain in Fort Wayne. Also, if you could supply a list of names of men with large mustaches, that would be helpful. You have a wonderful city, and I believe it will make the perfect home for Wild Walrus.

Sincerely,
Stewart T. Gorman, Jr.

And the reply...

From: "Suzanne Sims"
To: Stewart Gorman
Date: Thu, 8 Apr 2004 09:59:45 -0500
Subject: permits

If you are selling food you will need to check with the Board of Health for permits. They will have to inspect your carts. They can be reached @ (260) 449-7561. Also, you might check with the Right-of-Way Dept to make sure that you do not set up in the right- of-way. Their number is (260) 427-1144.

Suzanne L Sims
Accounting Clerk/Reception
Civil City Accounting
(260) 427-1104