Put Your Right Hand In...

I believe I may have coined a new euphemism for male masturbation.  Into the long, storied history of wacking off, beating the meat, jerking off, spanking the monkey, polishing the bishop, choking the chicken, bopping the boloney, stroking it, cleaning the rifle, jerkin' the gherkin, pocket pool, teasing the weasel, yanking the crank, beating off, test-firing the meat missle, shaking hands with uncle dick, and having a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters, comes...

Knuckle-fucking.

To the best of my knowledge and research, that phrase has never been uttered in reference to the act of solo male sexual gratification.  This day is so getting recorded in my memoirs.